I HAVE DRUNK STRANGE WATERS - Episode 38

 

EPISODE 38

“Kike!!!” I shouted from my sleep.

I opened my eyes to see her staring at me; she bent down and touched my cheek.” What happened Femi? You were screaming from your sleep” she said with concern in her voice.

I stood up in fear suddenly “Don’t come near me!” I screamed.

She stepped back in fear and stared at me with a sad look “Maybe staying after all that happened is a bad idea” she said and went inside the room to pack her things.

“Let the witch go, you don’t need her anyways” I almost sighed in relief until I remembered the wedding coming up in 3 weeks. “If you don’t find a way to keep her in the house till after the wedding she will spoil things for you”

I rushed into the room and saw her packing her things “Kike! It has not gotten to this. I had a bad dream and I was trying to deal with it”

“You want me to stay?” she said hopefully.

“Yes, you are my wife and I want you here. I need you Kike” I lied.

“But do you love me? Do you trust me not to harm you? You can’t even bear to look at me” tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Of course, you are the only woman in my life. Stop thinking about nonsense things and let’s go to bed”

For two weeks I was a model husband to Kike, I pretended to love her and I went home early. She was sad about me not eating her food and I told Mama, and she came up with the perfect solution.

“Don’t worry Femi, take this water and drink it after eating her food; it will destroy all the charms she used in cooking it” she said proudly.

I tried to make Kike think I have forgiven her and things were back to normal, when Cynthia complains I tell her to exercise patience till after the wedding.

The accountant became my best friend; he was always suggesting ways to embezzle money. Everything was all right with our wedding preparations until a week before the wedding.

I came home that night to a happy-looking Kike; she was smiling and grinning from ear to ear.

“Welcome home dear,” she said with a smile.

“Thanks” I grumbled looking at her suspiciously.

“I have prepared your food,” she said happily.

“Has she finally decided to poison me?” I thought as I stared at her with a suspicious look.

“I am not hungry” I grumbled.

“Then let’s talk,” she said and sat down beside me.

My tie suddenly became too tight on my neck as I tried to remove it.

“Let me help you with it,” she said still grinning.

I allowed her to remove the tie; she walked on removing my shoes afterward. She then sat down beside me and stared at me for a while.

“So when do you plan to tell me?”

“Te..ll.. you w..h..a.t?” I stammered.

“Your life is finished Femi” Myriads of thoughts and suggestions ran through my mind immediately.

“You want it to be a surprise right?” she said again staring at me.

“Kike, I can explain…”

“Femi, you know you don’t have to do this. I know I like surprises but you should have told me so that I can prepare too” she said smiling.

I suddenly started sweating profusely “So this is how I will end my life? Is she hiding a gun or a knife somewhere? Or will she decide to invoke thunder to strike me dead?”

She suddenly knelt at my feet and stared at me adoringly “I have been trying to keep this to myself since I heard but I can’t keep it any longer. I was job hunting today; I went to the real estate firm where we got this apartment and I saw Bambi”

“That Bambi witch! Why can’t she keep her mouth shut” I thought about what to say but I knew I had to hear how much she knows first.

“Bambi has a big mouth,” I said trying to make a joke but the laugh came out like a dry cough.

“I mean, I never imagined you would be planning such a huge surprise. Anyways I like it”

“Like what?”

“The house, of course, I didn’t believe her so she showed me pictures of the house and the paperwork. I can’t believe you got that beautiful house in my name” she said blushing.

“Bambi if I catch you consider yourself dead” I knew I had to say something before she became suspicious.

“I wanted it to be a surprise but you know now,” I said smiling.

“I love the sitting room. I don’t mind that the house was on the lease, she even said the owner relocated abroad and wouldn’t mind selling the house later”

I cursed Bambi inwardly as I stared at Kike helplessly. “Why can’t you just wait till about a week before you discover this? I would be safely married by then.”

“I know you will like it”

“Of course I do! The kitchen was like something from the movies. I was almost angry with you for keeping it as a surprise until she told me the house was in my name” she almost fainted out of joy.

“Now, this is why I don’t want to tell you yet. I know you won’t be able to keep this to yourself” I said smiling.

“When are we packing? I can’t stand this neighborhood again. Can you imagine that our noisy neighbor called me a jobless fool this morning?”

“Easy Kike, work is still going on in the house. Let’s give it about 2 weeks”

“And the location is just perfect! I have been dreaming of having a house around Lekki; God has picked our call darling” she said in excitement.

“Yes, He picked up big time”

‘But wait! Where did you get money to lease a house in a neighborhood like that?” she suddenly looked suspicious.

“What do you mean by asking that type of question?” I said looking offended.

“I am sorry I sounded that way, dear. Your salary is just three hundred and fifty thousand naira, where did you get almost three million to lease a house in Lekki? We have been managing in this house since; we know we don’t have that kind of money.”

“So what are you insinuating? That I stole the money? Are you calling me a thief?”

“No dear, I should ask where you got the money from. I am your wife. I mean I love the fact that you got a house in my name but I need to know where you got the money from”

“I got it on a loan. I was given a house loan at work” I said hurriedly.

“You got that kind of loan and you didn’t tell me? With the way, we have been living in this house? We would have started a business with it”

“It’s my money and I can do whatever I want with it,” I said and stood up angrily.

“I am coming back for you Kike; first I have to deal with Bambi”

To be continued…

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