I HAVE DRUNK STRANGE WATERS - Episode 29

EPISODE 29

“Hello! Hello! Femi! Are you there?” my mother shouted

“Yes Mama, I am still here”

“I think it is time to tell Kike what is going on, she should be preparing to receive a new wife”

“What! What are you saying, Mama?” I said in shock as the line was disconnected.

I stood up from my chair and stood motionless for some minutes “What kind of trouble did Mama want to start now?” I couldn’t concentrate on anything at work that day and managed to get away around 9:00PM when I was sure everything was alright at the fueling station.

I got home around 10:30PM after passing one way to ensure I got home before Mama will call Kike. She was watching TV when I got home and was surprised that I got home early without informing her.

“Welcome dear, hope everything is well,” she asked cheerfully.

“I am sure Mama hadn’t told her, she would have attacked me with a knife immediately I entered the house” I looked at her to see if there is any trace of anger but I couldn’t find any. “I have to be sure Mama didn’t tell her. What if she is pretending? What if she is waiting for me to settle down before pouring hot water on me?”

“Why are you sweating like this dear? The traffic must be hectic” she said looking concerned.

“Did Mama call you today?”

“Mama? I don’t think so. I had a flat battery, they brought the light recently and I have been charging my phone. Let me put it on…”

“NO!’ I shouted and quickly pulled myself together. “Let it charge, it is too late anyway,” I said as I sighed in relief.

I went to shower and came back to eat, she sat down beside me and was watching me while I eat a few minutes later.

“This soup is tasty” I commented heartily. I can afford to be generous now that I am sure Mama has not told her anything.

“Thanks, dear, should I bring more?” she said smiling.

“No, it is OK”

“Thanks for the compliment, is it me or you have become nicer these days?” she said teasing me.

“What do you mean?” I said trying to look offended.

“First you started buying me gifts, then the take-outs, dates, and vacation. Is there anything I am missing?”

“Not at all dear, this is time for you to enjoy. Thanks for standing by me all those years when there was nothing” I said smiling at her.

“I was just doing my duty, thanks for being a good man. Lots of men will let the money get  into their heads and they will start misbehaving, that is when they will think their wife is not to their taste…”

Pepper suddenly went the wrong way and I had to drink water “Did Kike hear something? Is she waiting for the right time to strike? I have to find out” I suddenly raised my head as if I remembered something.

“Dear do you remember that my friend Akeem, my course mate in the university?”

“Akeem? Akeem? I can’t remember him” she said as she racked her brain to remember who I was talking about.

“Never mind, I saw his picture on Facebook today, he just married another wife and they gave birth to twins. He has been with his wife for up to ten years without having a child, they really suffered together…”

“What! And he did all that? Men are wicked o! His wife must be gentle sha. If I am the one, I will set all of them on fire after emptying 20 litres of fuel on them” she said with venom.

The meat I was chewing suddenly turned to saw-dust in my mouth as I stared at her in horror “You will really do that?”

“No dear, it will be an easy death for them. I will prefer to hack them into pieces” she said with a dangerous look and I swallowed hard.

“You are really a dangerous woman” I muttered audible enough for her to hear.

“Why are you looking scared as if you are the one?” she said turning at me suddenly.

“No ooo! I just pity Akeem that’s all. I won’t even try that, I know you will kill me” I said and tried to laugh aloud but it sounded like that of a witch in a Yoruba movie.

“I trust you; anyways my friend is coming back from the US soon. She promised to bring exotic gowns for me” she said changing the subject entirely.

“Which of your friends?” I asked and tried to go back to my food but my appetite was completely gone.

“Loveth, she took a vacation about 5 weeks ago and will be back latest by next month,” she said cheerfully.

“Oh! How is she doing?”

“Don’t pretend, I know you don’t like her” she said pouting.

“I don’t hate her either, I have been trying to really accept her since you said she had a role to play in me getting this job,” I said trying to smile.

“Well, she said her cousin is getting married in two months and she wants to come to Nigeria to attend the wedding. She invited me, I will go if I don’t have much doing that weekend” she said smiling.

“That is good; you should support each other as friends. Remind me to give you money to buy aso-ebi and gift for her cousin”

“She said you will know her, she also works in your company. I didn’t know she has a cousin working in your company, I would really like to meet her”

“Her cousin is working at my workplace? That is strange. Maybe she got us the job at the same time, do you know her name?”

“She said something like Cynthia; you know Loveth is from Calabar…”

“You mean Cynthia?” I asked in shock.

“Yes, I think that’s her name”

To be continued…

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